Open Journal

I have things I don't deserve. I did not earn life, I did not earn air. I did not earn a childhood with light-brights, Sailor Moon, a goofy dad, a warm mom, an energetic sibling, aloof or afraid cats, a family with farm land, hearing trains go by cows, hearing a horse breath when you feed it and it letting you pet its nose. I wonder how that horse felt about a little child looking at it with fear, comfort, amazement and caution. Did it see me as a child? I didn't earn my fri

Burning an incense stick after a hot shower, a skin care routine, moisturizing your body, celebrating all you do for yourself , all that you're learning, anticipating what you're becoming, Knowing growth is life.   Being back in your body, paying attention to it. Reading a book, writing a blog, holding reverence for many things The very idea of "reverence" and the blessing of holding it.   Solitude is gratitude for seeing, experiencing, colors ,tastes, cultivating, curating,

At times, I feel "out of my body." Not myself, not attuned with life, careless, diverged from my routine. I called it "motivation running out," but that's not accurate. It's existential dissatisfaction. It's what happens when my high standards for myself become disappointed in the consequences of my own choices, including the choice to be stagnant. I'm glad this has a name now: "existential dissatisfaction." But what brings me back into it? What makes me satisfied again? I've